treading water, just to keep from slipping under

And she wonders where she's supposed to be.
-

I have realized my love for Superchic[k] runs deeper that water. I remember sixth and seventh grade when I was completely addicted.
Now, you can say I'm a complete loser for turning to secular music. Okay, not really. What I'm saying is...that I feel like a worse person today than I did back then.

You probably have no idea what I'm babbling about. Which is fine. I have decided to break it done into simpler terms. I've picked up a habit of using rather large and complex words in my sentences, thanks to Debate.

I think I'm not going back to that class next year. Mmm. Who knows?

Ah, yes. Where was I? Oh. I feel worse now because I feel like I've been too orientated with the crap that's happening in my life, rather than focusing on the positive. Jesus and I have been chatting, and I think it's time that I stop thinking about the Boy of the Year and start spreading His Word out.

Yes, Boy of the Year. As with Angela-tradition, there will be a boy that I am completely head over heels for. Said-boy will implant himself in my life for a year or so (Tyler was an exception- he managed to stay in my head for a year and half, or more) and I will suddenly decide to attempt to get over them and write a book about it. The end.

It's depressing, really. Especially when my resolve breaks so easily. I hate it.
Boy of the year is a Debate/Forensics kid now. He likes a girl that I don't know. I don't even like this boy. I mean, I barely know him...but it was just one look.

Just one look made me fall. I don't even think he knows my name.

...my birthday is right around the corner.

-Angie

what happened on 9/25.

So, I will now go into full detail in what REALLY happened at the Novice/JV tournament taking place at CEHS.

Whatever they have said about me is a lie. Maybe except the 'I completely destroyed their cases' bit. That's true.

6:30 AM -> I got to school, tired as heck, with a box of breakfast burritos.
6:35 AM -> Said 'hi' to everyone and sat down, staring into space.
6:40 AM -> I talked to Kylee about some topic I don't remember.
7: 00 AM -> Finally ate something. Half of a bacon breakfast burrito. Yay.
7:15 AM -> Zoned out.
7:17 AM -> Started going over my case and evidence.
7: 40 AM -> Did vocal warm-ups. Quite entertaining.
8: 00 AM -> The CEHS Debate team walked like a mob to the cafeteria and caused the entire place to look up in awe at our super snazzy suits. I felt like flipping off my kind of/not really ex-boyfriend. It would've been great, but I decided not to.
8: 45 AM -> Postings went up. I ran to room 627 in order to start debating.
8: 50 AM -> Still waiting for my opponent to come and for the judge to come.
8: 55 AM -> Still waiting and started talking to Courtney.
9: 00 AM -> STILL. FREAKING. WAITING. For judge. Opponent was sprinting down the hall.
9: 05 AM -> Judge arrives and we enter classroom.
9: 10 - 9:40 AM -> Major buttkicking ensues.
9: 50 AM -> I grin and say 'great job' to opponent. I sat down on a chair and wait for flight two to finish. I totally won the first round. It was great.
10: something AM -> Second flight is finished and I go back to the cafeteria. I feel like an adrenaline junkie.
10: 40 AM -> Everyone else comes in, with the same grins. We're high off of debate. That's cool.
10: 40 - 11: 30 AM -> Second round postings come up.
11:35 AM -> I get stuck in a crowd and people are shoving. It's not nice.
11:37 AM -> I finally get to see where I am for round two. Same room. Fun, fun.
11: 45 AM -> I arrive to the round, my opponent arrives, the judge arrives.
11: 50 AM -> BUTT KICKING ENSUES.
12: 30-ish PM -> Butt kicking is over. I totally won that round. A sophomore boy from who knows where looks me over and I resist the urge to roll my eyes.
1: 00 PM -> I have arrived in the cafeteria. I eat lunch. Teriyaki chicken bowl. Yay.
2: 00 PM -> We wait.
2: 30 PM -> Still waiting.
3: 00 PM -> I go over my case, while waiting.
3: 13 PM -> OH MY GOSH, CAN I GO-*third round postings go up* Oh. Never mind then.
3: 20 PM -> Finally get up and check my postings. I shrug, because I don't care who I'm going against. All I know is that I need to win.
3: 26 PM -> Arrive at room.
3: 27 -> Almost scream bloody murder when I see my opponent. I hide my lapse of confidence with a cheerful grin.
3: 28 -> I'm pretty sure I look like I'm going to kill something.
3: 29 -> "Hello, I'm Angela, number 176! Nice to meet you!" *offers hand to shake it*
"Oh, I know you."
*a second of silence; I tilt my head and keep that smile on my face*
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah, I'm Tabia. I'm sort of dating Keegan."
3:30 PM -> I blink. Oh, that's nice. Wait, what? How the hell do you know me then?! HE TALKS ABOUT ME?!
"Oh, that's interesting. I didn't know he talked about his past girlfriends."
"Haha...yeah."
*the judge arrives and I shoot a prayer to God. Please Lord, help me not kill this person. Thanks.
The judge leads us in.
3: 32 PM -> I take a seat and double and triple check my case.
3: 56 PM -> It's time for flight two; my flight. I'm ready to Debate.
4: 00 PM to 4: 45 PM -> The world is rocked and exploded. Butt kicking and kicked butts ensue.
5: 00 PM -> I arrive to the cafeteria like a war hero/victim. This is not good. Friends crowd around and ask about what happened in there. I shrug and tell them the short and sweet version that didn't involve us debaters screaming at each other. Oh, joy.
5: 30 PM -> I crave Jamba Juice as I walk to Round Four.
5: 34 PM -> Kylie and Heidi tell me that I was the subject of gossip. Oh, joy. I'm being gossiped about in an academic setting. I'm a 'bitch' and that 'I will laugh at your case'. Hilarious, really.
Shut the hell up.
5: 40 PM to 6: 15 PM -> Round four passes. I win.
6: 30 PM -> I arrive at the cafeteria, grab something to eat, drink two water bottles and sprint to McCoy's room and sit down on a chair, sighing.
6: 35 PM -> I am kicked out of McCoy, by McCoy via phone call.
7: 00 PM -> By now, I really don't care anymore. Keegan tells me that I can't go to UCLA. I tell him to shut the hell up and die.
Okay, not really. I told him that was nice and that I didn't want to waste my braincells on UCLA anyways. UC Berkeley's law program was much superior, anyways.

Time passes
8:00 PM -> The awards start. I'm not even going to go into detail. I won three rounds. Lost one. Care to guess which one I lost?

After this hectic day I went home and sobbed. I lost a plaque that would've been a beautiful addition (and college transcript worthy) item for my room. Anyways. Debate's weird. It's like, football, but harder.

I'm going to go do my homework now.

#176 out.
-Angie

i think i hate you

I'm not very happy with myself right now. I feel the pressure of being an honors student, the pressure of being a sort-of advanced debater, the pressure of being a ridiculously good writer; I feel it all.
and I hate it.

Dear World, I hate you.
Dear Angie, the World hates you too.