The reviews for Chaos and Conflict came in.
I am scared as freaking HELL to read them.
I don't want to read them.
I can't. I get this feeling inside my chest and the tears well up...
I DON'T WANT TO READ IT.
I've read three parts of it. They think my storyline is great. Characters and places need more description.
That's as far as I could bear to read. Does anyone want to go through my crap and read it for me? Dx That's how scared of reading my reviews are.
-twitches away shamefully-
I am the worst person ever.
-Angie
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Captains and Cruiseships
I am stuck in L.A.
Through the week and can't get away
And you're alone on the pier
In West Palm Beach on your holiday
Stormy night, reawake
the stomach ache that I've acquired
from feeling down, things look grim
and I'm so sick of being tired
apartment lights go dark
and its depressing but what can I do?
the midnight streets feel dead
when I am so used to driving with you
brighter lights fill the night and
bluer skies reflect in your eyes
As I inspect and analyze
All of these dreams I don't recognize
if you're still up when the ships
in the port prepare to set sail
comb the beach and put those blue flowers up in your ponytail
inside my head you're voice is still resounding but what can I do?
Empty rooms feel cold when I am so used to being with you
Count the stars, watch the waves absorb the summer sun
and think of me
when you explore hidden coves and tiny island chains throughout the sea
Can you still, hear my voice, when I'm outside from over the phone
For what its worth, darling dear, I wish you were here Cause I feel alone
when you were home we'd sing but since you've left I don't hear anything
Though I feel so sad, I can't believe things are really that bad
Old captains and brand new cruise ships
Sailing over the briny sea
When I crashed my beloved desk job
And swim through the debris
Ill cut loose leave this mad house all for the Atlantic blue
Ill stroll down your tree-lined driveway, and sail the ocean with you
---
owl city
Through the week and can't get away
And you're alone on the pier
In West Palm Beach on your holiday
Stormy night, reawake
the stomach ache that I've acquired
from feeling down, things look grim
and I'm so sick of being tired
apartment lights go dark
and its depressing but what can I do?
the midnight streets feel dead
when I am so used to driving with you
brighter lights fill the night and
bluer skies reflect in your eyes
As I inspect and analyze
All of these dreams I don't recognize
if you're still up when the ships
in the port prepare to set sail
comb the beach and put those blue flowers up in your ponytail
inside my head you're voice is still resounding but what can I do?
Empty rooms feel cold when I am so used to being with you
Count the stars, watch the waves absorb the summer sun
and think of me
when you explore hidden coves and tiny island chains throughout the sea
Can you still, hear my voice, when I'm outside from over the phone
For what its worth, darling dear, I wish you were here Cause I feel alone
when you were home we'd sing but since you've left I don't hear anything
Though I feel so sad, I can't believe things are really that bad
Old captains and brand new cruise ships
Sailing over the briny sea
When I crashed my beloved desk job
And swim through the debris
Ill cut loose leave this mad house all for the Atlantic blue
Ill stroll down your tree-lined driveway, and sail the ocean with you
---
owl city
Whispers in the Dark
Despite the lies that you're making
Your love is mine for the taking
My love is just waiting
To turn your tears to roses
Despite the lies that you're making
Your love is mine for the taking
My love is just waiting
To turn your tears to roses
I will be the one that's gonna hold you
I will be the one that you run to
My love is a burning, consuming fire
No, you'll never be alone
When darkness comes I'll light the night with stars
Hear my whispers in the dark
No, you'll never be alone
When darkness comes you know I'm never far
Hear the whispers in the dark
Whispers in the dark
You feel so lonely and ragged
You lay there broken and naked
My love is just waiting
To clothe you in crimson roses
I will be the one that's gonna find you
I will be the one that's gonna guide you
My love is a burning, consuming fire
No, you'll never be alone
When darkness comes I'll light the night with stars
Hear my whispers in the dark
No, you'll never be alone
When darkness comes you know I'm never far
Hear the whispers in the dark
No, you'll never be alone
When darkness comes I'll light the night with stars
Hear the whispers in the dark
No, you'll never be alone
When darkness comes you know I'm never far
Hear the whispers in the dark
Whispers in the dark
Whispers in the dark
Whispers in the dark
---
you should seriously know who this song is by.
if not.
skillet.
Your love is mine for the taking
My love is just waiting
To turn your tears to roses
Despite the lies that you're making
Your love is mine for the taking
My love is just waiting
To turn your tears to roses
I will be the one that's gonna hold you
I will be the one that you run to
My love is a burning, consuming fire
No, you'll never be alone
When darkness comes I'll light the night with stars
Hear my whispers in the dark
No, you'll never be alone
When darkness comes you know I'm never far
Hear the whispers in the dark
Whispers in the dark
You feel so lonely and ragged
You lay there broken and naked
My love is just waiting
To clothe you in crimson roses
I will be the one that's gonna find you
I will be the one that's gonna guide you
My love is a burning, consuming fire
No, you'll never be alone
When darkness comes I'll light the night with stars
Hear my whispers in the dark
No, you'll never be alone
When darkness comes you know I'm never far
Hear the whispers in the dark
No, you'll never be alone
When darkness comes I'll light the night with stars
Hear the whispers in the dark
No, you'll never be alone
When darkness comes you know I'm never far
Hear the whispers in the dark
Whispers in the dark
Whispers in the dark
Whispers in the dark
---
you should seriously know who this song is by.
if not.
skillet.
Mary
Little Miss Mary Sunshine had a bad day
She says it’s overrated, living this way
She took her hair down, left her sweater on the floor
She’s not a nice girl anymore
She says I won’t apologize
Stand up girls, and dry your eyes
And I’ll see you on the other side of good
Where we sing Na,Na,Na,Nada,Nada,Na Na,Na,Na,Nada,Nada,Na
She paints her fingernails in black, she’s on the run
On the wrong side of the tracks where life is fun
Points a finger, but there’s nobody to blame
All the people in her memory look the same
She says I won’t apologize
Stand up girls, and dry your eyes
And I’ll see you on the other side of good
Where we sing Na,Na,Na,Nada,Nada,Na Na,Na,Na,Nada,Nada,Na
Everybody’s favorite girl
Doesn’t fake it anymore
I’m okay with who I am today
Everybody’s gotta change
I’m just doing what I can
Could you love me anyway?
Where we sing Na,Na,Na,Nada,Nada,Na Na,Na,Na,Nada,Nada,Na
She says I won’t apologize
Stand up girls, and dry your eyes
And I’ll see you on the other side of good
Where we sing Na,Na,Na,Nada,Nada,Na Na,Na,Na,Nada,Nada,Na
Little Miss Mary Sunshine had a bad day
She says it’s overrated, living this way
-
saving jane.
She says it’s overrated, living this way
She took her hair down, left her sweater on the floor
She’s not a nice girl anymore
She says I won’t apologize
Stand up girls, and dry your eyes
And I’ll see you on the other side of good
Where we sing Na,Na,Na,Nada,Nada,Na Na,Na,Na,Nada,Nada,Na
She paints her fingernails in black, she’s on the run
On the wrong side of the tracks where life is fun
Points a finger, but there’s nobody to blame
All the people in her memory look the same
She says I won’t apologize
Stand up girls, and dry your eyes
And I’ll see you on the other side of good
Where we sing Na,Na,Na,Nada,Nada,Na Na,Na,Na,Nada,Nada,Na
Everybody’s favorite girl
Doesn’t fake it anymore
I’m okay with who I am today
Everybody’s gotta change
I’m just doing what I can
Could you love me anyway?
Where we sing Na,Na,Na,Nada,Nada,Na Na,Na,Na,Nada,Nada,Na
She says I won’t apologize
Stand up girls, and dry your eyes
And I’ll see you on the other side of good
Where we sing Na,Na,Na,Nada,Nada,Na Na,Na,Na,Nada,Nada,Na
Little Miss Mary Sunshine had a bad day
She says it’s overrated, living this way
-
saving jane.
Mary's Song (Oh My My My)
She said, I was seven and you were nine
I looked at you like the stars that shined
In the sky, the pretty lights
And our daddies used to joke about the two of us
Growing up and falling in love and our mamas smiled
And rolled their eyes and said oh my my my
Take me back to the house in the backyard tree
Said you'd beat me up, you were bigger than me
You never did, you never did
Take me back when our world was one block wide
I dared you to kiss me and ran when you tried
Just two kids, you and I...
Oh my my my my
Well, I was sixteen when suddenly
I wasn't that little girl you used to see
But your eyes still shined like pretty lights
And our daddies used to joke about the two of us
They never believed we'd really fall in love
And our mamas smiled and rolled their eyes
And said oh my my my...
Take me back to the creek beds we turned up
Two A.M. riding in your truck and all I need is you next to me
Take me back to the time we had our very first fight
The slamming of doors instead of kissing goodnight
You stayed outside till the morning light
Oh my my my my
A few years had gone and come around
We were sitting at our favorite spot in town
And you looked at me, got down on one knee
Take me back to the time when we walked down the aisle
Our whole town came and our mamas cried
You said I do and I did too
Take me home where we met so many years before
We'll rock our babies on that very front porch
After all this time, you and I
I'll be eighty-seven; you'll be eighty-nine
I'll still look at you like the stars that shine
In the sky, oh my my my...
---
taylor swift
I looked at you like the stars that shined
In the sky, the pretty lights
And our daddies used to joke about the two of us
Growing up and falling in love and our mamas smiled
And rolled their eyes and said oh my my my
Take me back to the house in the backyard tree
Said you'd beat me up, you were bigger than me
You never did, you never did
Take me back when our world was one block wide
I dared you to kiss me and ran when you tried
Just two kids, you and I...
Oh my my my my
Well, I was sixteen when suddenly
I wasn't that little girl you used to see
But your eyes still shined like pretty lights
And our daddies used to joke about the two of us
They never believed we'd really fall in love
And our mamas smiled and rolled their eyes
And said oh my my my...
Take me back to the creek beds we turned up
Two A.M. riding in your truck and all I need is you next to me
Take me back to the time we had our very first fight
The slamming of doors instead of kissing goodnight
You stayed outside till the morning light
Oh my my my my
A few years had gone and come around
We were sitting at our favorite spot in town
And you looked at me, got down on one knee
Take me back to the time when we walked down the aisle
Our whole town came and our mamas cried
You said I do and I did too
Take me home where we met so many years before
We'll rock our babies on that very front porch
After all this time, you and I
I'll be eighty-seven; you'll be eighty-nine
I'll still look at you like the stars that shine
In the sky, oh my my my...
---
taylor swift
Sunday, March 28, 2010
i need you so much closer
Writing is my choice of drug. In eight days I will be allowed to relish this activity once more.
What did I learn in these days of Lent? I learned that I've become a distant, dysfunctional, cynical, human-being. Through writing I expressed all my thoughts, I channeled fictional characters and wove a story of woe and love. Lies and hope. Faith.
I remember my first story, in the sixth grade. I stole the idea from my friend Rachel, Yorke that is. My first written tale came out of plagiarism.
Soon after I was paired up with her brother in this group project thing for Ander's Bible class. Kendra was the drunk/broke person. Sam and I were the educated/prosperous.
That simple...interaction, so to say, sparked something. I fell fast and deep. It was a stupid, childish, crush.
And for all the cliches in the world, I fell for my best friend's brother.
Months later in the seventh grade I would begin writing the tale of Vienna Amaraylis, 'Chaos and Conflict'. All based off of a room full of crazy seventh/eighth graders. If you squint hard enough, you'd begin to notice all the subliminal messages I left.
After that came 'Corrupt A Wish' the most pointless piece of writing I've ever written. It was a filler, sprung from Rachel Frost's POTC obsession. That said, I guess it wasn't so pointless.
Finished that story before you knew it.
'Lost in Paradise' came soon after. I experimented with cursing in my story. Received mildly. I really didn't care. I needed the main outline done.
First batch of criticism came soon after in the form of my friend/ex-mentor Sydney Mueller. She called my story 'nice, but simple.'
That didn't make sense until much, much, later.
End of seventh grade brought a couple chapters of book four, 'Harvard Haywire'. It hasn't been written since then.
I decided to focus on 'Chaos and Conflict', in an insane attempt to add more meat and complexity to it.
Now here I stand on the crossroad that Frost spoke about.
The path less traveled? Hah. I took that one and ended up at another crossroad. Thanks, Robert Frost.
I am now curing my wounds from the ABNA rejection.
I am now healing. I will fix 'Chaos and Conflict' up and eventually enter it next year. I will not give up hope.
Authors are odd creatures. Our first book is like our first child, we nurture it until it's ready to walk on it's own.
-Angie
What did I learn in these days of Lent? I learned that I've become a distant, dysfunctional, cynical, human-being. Through writing I expressed all my thoughts, I channeled fictional characters and wove a story of woe and love. Lies and hope. Faith.
I remember my first story, in the sixth grade. I stole the idea from my friend Rachel, Yorke that is. My first written tale came out of plagiarism.
Soon after I was paired up with her brother in this group project thing for Ander's Bible class. Kendra was the drunk/broke person. Sam and I were the educated/prosperous.
That simple...interaction, so to say, sparked something. I fell fast and deep. It was a stupid, childish, crush.
And for all the cliches in the world, I fell for my best friend's brother.
Months later in the seventh grade I would begin writing the tale of Vienna Amaraylis, 'Chaos and Conflict'. All based off of a room full of crazy seventh/eighth graders. If you squint hard enough, you'd begin to notice all the subliminal messages I left.
After that came 'Corrupt A Wish' the most pointless piece of writing I've ever written. It was a filler, sprung from Rachel Frost's POTC obsession. That said, I guess it wasn't so pointless.
Finished that story before you knew it.
'Lost in Paradise' came soon after. I experimented with cursing in my story. Received mildly. I really didn't care. I needed the main outline done.
First batch of criticism came soon after in the form of my friend/ex-mentor Sydney Mueller. She called my story 'nice, but simple.'
That didn't make sense until much, much, later.
End of seventh grade brought a couple chapters of book four, 'Harvard Haywire'. It hasn't been written since then.
I decided to focus on 'Chaos and Conflict', in an insane attempt to add more meat and complexity to it.
Now here I stand on the crossroad that Frost spoke about.
The path less traveled? Hah. I took that one and ended up at another crossroad. Thanks, Robert Frost.
I am now curing my wounds from the ABNA rejection.
I am now healing. I will fix 'Chaos and Conflict' up and eventually enter it next year. I will not give up hope.
Authors are odd creatures. Our first book is like our first child, we nurture it until it's ready to walk on it's own.
-Angie
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
enjoy the moment
did i have a post already named this? i don't remember, so enjoy these random pictures:
hope and vanille from final fantasy 13. i thought this picture was adorable.
Muse of October 25, 2009. I wanted to capture a sad feel with this piece...I should've edited it. xD
One of the best pictures I've, like, taken. I love how the clouds make the tree more lively.
Part of a collection I made. I should get those up.
Alice in the Country of Hearts, an amazing manga. XD I <3 Blood Dupre aka the Mad Hatter.
---
Anyways, I'm off. I should edit this later, but for now, enjoy the pictures.
ciao.
-Angie
hope and vanille from final fantasy 13. i thought this picture was adorable.
Muse of October 25, 2009. I wanted to capture a sad feel with this piece...I should've edited it. xD
One of the best pictures I've, like, taken. I love how the clouds make the tree more lively.
Part of a collection I made. I should get those up.
Alice in the Country of Hearts, an amazing manga. XD I <3 Blood Dupre aka the Mad Hatter.
---
Anyways, I'm off. I should edit this later, but for now, enjoy the pictures.
ciao.
-Angie
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Saturday, March 20, 2010
suicide blonde
I read your blog, Rachel. And I simply and utterly stunned. You are one of the most stable people in the world and you have considered suicide. This makes my life seem much more downer.
When I consider suicide, i first rule out all the painful ways to die. I am a wimp, I know. But hey, I was going to off myself, I want to kill myself in the most unpainful way possible.
Then I remember all the people I would leave behind.
I think of my Lime and my Lemon. Rachel Yorke, I would die happy if I told you how amazing you are today. Rachel Frost, you are an amazing and strong person. Don't you forget it.
My family would be in ruins. My current infatuation would go on living without knowing that I secretly 'loved' him.
Dear Jesus, I pray over each of my precious friends. I love them all and I would never leave them for a stupid thing.
Amen.
ciao.
-Angie
When I consider suicide, i first rule out all the painful ways to die. I am a wimp, I know. But hey, I was going to off myself, I want to kill myself in the most unpainful way possible.
Then I remember all the people I would leave behind.
I think of my Lime and my Lemon. Rachel Yorke, I would die happy if I told you how amazing you are today. Rachel Frost, you are an amazing and strong person. Don't you forget it.
My family would be in ruins. My current infatuation would go on living without knowing that I secretly 'loved' him.
Dear Jesus, I pray over each of my precious friends. I love them all and I would never leave them for a stupid thing.
Amen.
ciao.
-Angie
Friday, March 19, 2010
for you, darling.
missed a chance i'll never get
here we stand on opposite ends
on the brink of death, all i could think was
'how can i see your eyes one last time?'
he wasn't the best of people, his hair was a mess no matter what, but
his lyrics pulled through, he let me read them on a Sunday
i used to think he wrote every word for a girl
a girl he serenaded to each night
i was naive, you were right
you knew the truth locked in my eyes
the way i looked at him was surely your demise
i'm sorry for breaking what we used to be
a connection so surreal
a connection so unreal
the lies of life are the most enticing
i lost a shot at some kind of live
a love you were willing to give (some kind of love)
a love he didn't know existed (some kind of love)
now, we're halfway there. you cannot see me, but i can see you.
your eyes are identical
how the heck did i not know that your eyes were identical?
...
hmm...if i told you the truth of that Sunday, you would
rather not bite the ruse
i don't blame you for hating him.
he took all you had and gave it to...
and gave it to...
and gave it to...
and gave it to me.
i'm sorry.
i really am.
i am..(i wish I could go back and stop you from...)
...
you knew the truth locked in my eyes
the way i looked at him was surely your demise
...
i'm at the station
waiting for you to show.
a childish hope we both know.
even so,
you eyes are identical.
-
i really love you.
here we stand on opposite ends
on the brink of death, all i could think was
'how can i see your eyes one last time?'
he wasn't the best of people, his hair was a mess no matter what, but
his lyrics pulled through, he let me read them on a Sunday
i used to think he wrote every word for a girl
a girl he serenaded to each night
i was naive, you were right
you knew the truth locked in my eyes
the way i looked at him was surely your demise
i'm sorry for breaking what we used to be
a connection so surreal
a connection so unreal
the lies of life are the most enticing
i lost a shot at some kind of live
a love you were willing to give (some kind of love)
a love he didn't know existed (some kind of love)
now, we're halfway there. you cannot see me, but i can see you.
your eyes are identical
how the heck did i not know that your eyes were identical?
...
hmm...if i told you the truth of that Sunday, you would
rather not bite the ruse
i don't blame you for hating him.
he took all you had and gave it to...
and gave it to...
and gave it to...
and gave it to me.
i'm sorry.
i really am.
i am..(i wish I could go back and stop you from...)
...
you knew the truth locked in my eyes
the way i looked at him was surely your demise
...
i'm at the station
waiting for you to show.
a childish hope we both know.
even so,
you eyes are identical.
-
i really love you.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
empire of rain
I believe I owe this blog a nice, lengthy, post.
These past couple weeks have been ridiculous. I want Easter to come already. I need to write.
Since I can't actually story-write and whatnot, I'm sorta writing notes again. It's odd writing notes again. The last time I wrote an actual in-class note was during the last weeks of seventh grade. Blah. I also want March 23rd to come. That's when I can finally read what people are saying about my book on ABNA.
So what have I been doing lately, since I can't write?
I've drawn loads of pictures, began decorating my wall, and made videos. I'm currently looking for a tri-pod, because my camera is a pain to keep steady. I like tri-pods. They help.
Well, much ado about nothing, huh? I'm a non-believer in love at the moment. Ain't that great?
Random note, I recently read 'Fang' by James Patterson. Of course, the book officially comes out on the 15th aka tomorrow. Am I awesome or what?
ciao.
-Angie
These past couple weeks have been ridiculous. I want Easter to come already. I need to write.
Since I can't actually story-write and whatnot, I'm sorta writing notes again. It's odd writing notes again. The last time I wrote an actual in-class note was during the last weeks of seventh grade. Blah. I also want March 23rd to come. That's when I can finally read what people are saying about my book on ABNA.
So what have I been doing lately, since I can't write?
I've drawn loads of pictures, began decorating my wall, and made videos. I'm currently looking for a tri-pod, because my camera is a pain to keep steady. I like tri-pods. They help.
Well, much ado about nothing, huh? I'm a non-believer in love at the moment. Ain't that great?
Random note, I recently read 'Fang' by James Patterson. Of course, the book officially comes out on the 15th aka tomorrow. Am I awesome or what?
ciao.
-Angie
Thursday, March 4, 2010
ain't that neat?/mocha dreams
well, if i remember correctly, i can't write for a couple more weeks. it's a miracle i'm still alive.
but that's besides the point. in one of my lame attempts to write, i drew.
from there an idea was born~
two more stories, brought to you by yours truly.
it's the same story but in two different point of views.
-
savannah altairree in"ain't that neat?"
and
lacey nicolette rayanne in "mocha dreams."
-
the stories are about two girls living in seattle, washington and their lives as two dysfunctional teenagers. their families are a wreck, each of them are on different spectrum when in comes to social hierarchy and both of them want the same guy: joel hanekoma.
it sounds like your average run of the mill chick-lit.
'cept, as in angela written tradition, someone has to die.
besides that, ALICE IN WONDERLAND. IN TWO DAYS.
i want a top hat.
yay?
-ang
but that's besides the point. in one of my lame attempts to write, i drew.
from there an idea was born~
two more stories, brought to you by yours truly.
it's the same story but in two different point of views.
-
savannah altairree in"ain't that neat?"
and
lacey nicolette rayanne in "mocha dreams."
-
the stories are about two girls living in seattle, washington and their lives as two dysfunctional teenagers. their families are a wreck, each of them are on different spectrum when in comes to social hierarchy and both of them want the same guy: joel hanekoma.
it sounds like your average run of the mill chick-lit.
'cept, as in angela written tradition, someone has to die.
besides that, ALICE IN WONDERLAND. IN TWO DAYS.
i want a top hat.
yay?
-ang
Monday, March 1, 2010
maybe it's not my weekend, but it's gonna be my year
I had so much fun on Sunday~ God's working miracles up there for me.
It was a fun experience going to the block party, I met up with Rachel Lemon and Jesse and Jesse's friend Gary.
LOL
It was fun, teehee. I laughed a whole bunches. It's good laughing.
This weekend I get to go see Alice with my BFFs. This is so amazing~!
hahaha. Wow, I'm tired. xD
-Ang
It was a fun experience going to the block party, I met up with Rachel Lemon and Jesse and Jesse's friend Gary.
LOL
It was fun, teehee. I laughed a whole bunches. It's good laughing.
This weekend I get to go see Alice with my BFFs. This is so amazing~!
hahaha. Wow, I'm tired. xD
-Ang
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