i need you so much closer

Writing is my choice of drug. In eight days I will be allowed to relish this activity once more.
What did I learn in these days of Lent? I learned that I've become a distant, dysfunctional, cynical, human-being. Through writing I expressed all my thoughts, I channeled fictional characters and wove a story of woe and love. Lies and hope. Faith.
I remember my first story, in the sixth grade. I stole the idea from my friend Rachel, Yorke that is. My first written tale came out of plagiarism.
Soon after I was paired up with her brother in this group project thing for Ander's Bible class. Kendra was the drunk/broke person. Sam and I were the educated/prosperous.
That simple...interaction, so to say, sparked something. I fell fast and deep. It was a stupid, childish, crush.
And for all the cliches in the world, I fell for my best friend's brother.
Months later in the seventh grade I would begin writing the tale of Vienna Amaraylis, 'Chaos and Conflict'. All based off of a room full of crazy seventh/eighth graders. If you squint hard enough, you'd begin to notice all the subliminal messages I left.
After that came 'Corrupt A Wish' the most pointless piece of writing I've ever written. It was a filler, sprung from Rachel Frost's POTC obsession. That said, I guess it wasn't so pointless.
Finished that story before you knew it.
'Lost in Paradise' came soon after. I experimented with cursing in my story. Received mildly. I really didn't care. I needed the main outline done.
First batch of criticism came soon after in the form of my friend/ex-mentor Sydney Mueller. She called my story 'nice, but simple.'
That didn't make sense until much, much, later.
End of seventh grade brought a couple chapters of book four, 'Harvard Haywire'. It hasn't been written since then.
I decided to focus on 'Chaos and Conflict', in an insane attempt to add more meat and complexity to it.
Now here I stand on the crossroad that Frost spoke about.
The path less traveled? Hah. I took that one and ended up at another crossroad. Thanks, Robert Frost.
I am now curing my wounds from the ABNA rejection.
I am now healing. I will fix 'Chaos and Conflict' up and eventually enter it next year. I will not give up hope.
Authors are odd creatures. Our first book is like our first child, we nurture it until it's ready to walk on it's own.
-Angie